Saturday, February 26, 2011


So, one of my favorite songs lately has been "Perfect" by Pink. The words resonated with me, especially now that I've started this blog.

I finally thought to look up the video for the song and I must say that I'm even more taken with the song now than I was before for a lot of different reasons.

Here's an article explaining Pink's reasoning for this song and the video:

And here's the clean version of the song with the video:
(warning: one slightly graphic part and deals with the issue of cutting)

Beautiful You - Day 9

What are my words really saying??

Some of the things I say or think about myself.

- My thighs are too big.
- My stomach is getting rounder.
- I wish I was 10 lbs lighter.
- I wish I was the size I was when I got married.
- I wish I was as the size of "those" girls.

Hmmm. So, what do these words really mean? I think most of my problem is that I hold myself to certain "standards" of beauty. And, honestly, it's not just a "Hollywood standard of beauty," as Rosie suggests in her book. It's really just standards that I've come up with. I look at women who have gained the attention of certain people and feel a certain jealousy because I don't feel I share the same qualities, whether it be my weight or general appearance. Sometimes these women are famous starlets and sometimes they're just regular women that I meet in passing or through someone else.

I'm pretty sure I'm not the only woman who has come up with her own standards of beauty. And I'm pretty sure I'm not the only woman who can't reach her own standards of beauty. I need to re-evaluate my standards. The standards in my brain right now are not healthy standards for ME.

And, for the record, Beulah has only reared her ugly head about 3 times. Not bad!

Saturday, February 19, 2011

Beautiful You - Day 8

Self-Appreciation Jar

This jar is now sitting on my vanity.
For every negative thought or comment Beulah has about me, I will add either a quarter or a positive note.

Tuesday, February 15, 2011

Beautiful You - Day 7

Ah, yes. The inner critic that I just posted about yesterday needs a name. She's such a nag and just not nice at all. She's my biggest enemy. And, she needs a name.



I think I'm leaning towards Bertha or Beulah. What do you think?? =)

Monday, February 14, 2011

Beautiful You - Day 6

Ditch the "Fat Chat." Stop the "Body Bashing."

This is an interesting concept for me. For me, it's not so much the "chat" that I have an issue with but. Typically, I keep quiet about myself if others are "fat chatting." I try to keep a pretty positive attitude when around others because I know that negativity breeds negativity no matter what the situation. I also realize that this chatter usually is with women who see me as very thin and fit and healthy even though I don't always feel that way. I learned early on that if I mentioned my body image issues, I was immediately refuted and dismissed due to their vision of me.

"Body bashing," on the other hand, is what I need to work to get rid of. While I am very quiet about my feelings about my body on the outside, the voices on the inside are usually shouting and not very nice. I have got to work on quieting those voices and turning them into positive thinking. I have to learn to stop myself when I feel inclined to put myself down and when I hear those negative thoughts taking over. I need to kill those negative thoughts with positivity and strength.

Saturday, February 12, 2011

Beautiful You - Day 5

" It is impossible to live the life we want most if we haven't taken time to imagine it."
~Rosie Molinary, Beautiful You - A Daily Guide to Radical Self-Acceptance

My Vision

I envision myself being confident about ALL of me.
I envision myself feeling beautiful ALL of the time.
I envision loving myself - no matter what.
I envision myself not being envious of other women.
I envision celebrating myself for who I am inside and out.

Quite simply - this is not where I am today.
What will it take to get there?
It will take a new mindset.
It will take a conscious effort.
It will take strength and love.

Sunday, February 6, 2011

Beautiful You - Day 4

Body image didn't really affect my daily life and outlook until recent years. There was a time when I didn't even consider body image. I lived my life without worrying about weight. I was happy with what I saw in the mirror every day. I guess because my weight didn't really fluctuate, I didn't really pay much attention to it.

After I got married, my weight began to fluctuate. Honestly, it wasn't anything major but it was enough to bother me. It was enough to change my outlook on myself. I began to over-analyze every part of my body. I didn't like what I saw in the mirror.

Because of all of this, I am more critical of myself in all kinds of ways. I tend to beat myself up because of what I see in the mirror, especially when my weight fluctuates (just by a few pounds). I am very aware that my view of my body is very different from how others view it, and yet, I still have the same negative feelings.

I think one of the positive things that has come from my body image issues has been my entrance into the running world. This has helped my self confidence tremendously, but it hasn't erased those negative feelings about my body that come back to haunt me.

Thursday, February 3, 2011

Beautiful You - Day 3

How do I feel about myself?

What a loaded question!!

I think I come across as a pretty confident woman (who knows if I'm right), but on the inside, I'm not really that confident. I constantly judge myself when I look in the mirror. Mornings can be brutal for me as I try to decide what to wear. Forget what is fashionable...but what can I do to make my thighs look smaller or to hide that roundness that my stomach has started taking on. It's an on-going battle that takes over my morning. I look in the mirror and really don't like what I see most mornings.

Why is this?

Well, I am constantly opening magazines with these "perfectly" shaped models. I turn on the T.V. and see beautiful actresses....who have "perfect" shapes. I see the women/girls that my husband photographs and they have those "perfect" shapes. They can all wear the latest styles and look just right. But what make them so "perfect?" Why does their body shape get to be perfect and mine doesn't?

Honestly? It's mostly because my brain won't let my body be "perfect" because it's different than theirs. They all have something in common that I feel I don't have. I see my imperfections and can't get past them. And it's mostly just my brain working in overtime and over-analyzing myself.

I need to get past this and appreciate what I have. If what I have fluctuates, I need to be grateful for what I have gained or have lost. When I can have a healthy sense of self, I will feel beautiful regardless of size or shape. When I can be confident in what I already have, I will feel beautiful. I need to remind myself that beauty radiates from the inside.

Wednesday, February 2, 2011

Beautiful You - Day 2

Today, I pledge allegiance to myself. I will be a body champion and a body warrior.

I have signed my Body Warrior Pledge.

I think there are two statements from the Body Warrior Pledge that I am struggling with right now and will surely be the two to take the most determination for me to embrace is the following:

"To let envy dissipate and allow admiration to be a source of compassion by offering compliments to others."

"To change the inner monologue in my head to one that sees possibility not problems, potential not shortcomings, blessings not imperfections."

~Body Warrior Pledge; Beautiful You, a daily guide to Radical Self-Acceptance, by Rosie Molinary

Tuesday, February 1, 2011

Beautiful You - Day 1

Body Image and Me
I hope that I can truly accept my body 100% for what it is and what it isn't. I hope that I can love my body for all of its perfections and imperfections. I want to look in the mirror and be truly happy with what I see. I want to stop arguing with myself when I get dressed in the morning.

Body Image and the World
I would like to turn on the T.V. and open magazines and see models, actors and actresses of all shapes and sizes being accepted as just that....models, actors and actresses. Why do we have to categorize "plus-size" models (who are actually quite normally sized)?? Beauty should not be dependent upon size or shape and, unfortunately, the world continues to be dependent upon them. I would love to see beauty be dependent upon talent and passion and faith.

How Can I Begin Today?
Today I can remember to appreciate the body that G-d has given me. I only get one, so I need to continue to take care of it and love it for what it is.